Caktım Kurtula
To Be Saved I Was About
Memed Erdener, Eylül 2023
Tarikatların ktım ktım öğrencileri kapış kapış fransız lisesi, Saint Benoît’dan -caktım kurtula-. Yanımda Osman Hamdi Bey, önümde Samothrake bir Camel -caktım yaka-. 1985’teki kendime “oldu bu iş” -cektim diye-. Din hocası emri ile mazkıl masada namaz kılarken arkadaş, -caktım ben yaşanmamış anılarımı yakalaya-. Mamış dibimde Karaköy kerhaneleri bim bim bim sekiz sene inziva, beni özgürleştirecek vaad ile [geçmiş] -caktı ola-. Vinci, yaşamadığım hatıralarım [şimdi]mi yaşam sevinci ile -caktı daralta-. Köhnemiş tembelliğim un ufak -caktı ola-. Beklediğim troleybüs köh köh durağa -cekti gele-. Ellerimde trol hayaller ile arka kapıdan -cektim bine-. Nihayetinde ktım ktım -caktım kazan-. Ve küstah ve yüksek: “Din değil, dil” diye -caktım fısıldaya-. Stah ve ksek!
(translator’s note: This is a linguistically experimental text that, among other interventions, makes full use of the Turkish language’s ability to allow multiple suffixe. Thus, its translation into English, a language that naturally has a different scope and structure for suffixes, is a challenge, but here’s a try.)
-To be saved I was about- from the French lycée, Saint Benoît, where tarika were scrambling to grab the wasab wasab students. –To light a Camel I was about- with Osman Hamdi Bey to one side, and the Samothrace ahead of me. “Job done” –to say I was about- to the 1985 version of myself. As my friend was performing namaz on the classroom desk ingnam following the orders of the Religion teacher, to capture my unlived memories I was about. Unliv right next to me were the Karaköy brothels xtto xtto xtto, eight years of reclusion [gone by] -would have- now with the promise of emancipation. Yofli, memories unlived would -strict con- my [present] with joy of living. My decayed laziness to pieces –crumble would-. The trolleybus I was waiting for edla edla to the stop –come would-. Troll dreams in my hand from the back door I –on get would-. In the end I inwo inwo -win would-. And insolent and high-pitched: “Not religion, but language” -whisper I would-. Olent and hpit!
